Do You Want to Play? The Friendship Method We Forgot
In Good Company Blog I Monday 19 October 2026
There was a park right across the road from where I grew up.
The kids lived all over the neighbourhood, and we were all sent off to that park to play. Kids from the other side of the block. Kids from down the street, further back from the park on the other side.
We were strangers before that. The park became our meeting place, and we gathered there regularly playing tag, attempting daring feats on the giant slide and just having good old fun. Out of that, came some of the most wonderful friendships of my childhood. We'd play at the park, and then we'd end up at each other's places, and only return home when it started to go dark, as you did back in the 80s.
The park arranged all of it.
The world's best friendship method
Think back to being seven.
Making a friend took one question. "Do you want to play?"
That was it. The whole process. Your CV was a bucket and spade, and the interview lasted until someone got to the top of the slide first.
Friendship was confirmed by lunchtime. Often by morning tea.
Then we got sensible
Somewhere along the way we swapped "Do you want to play?" for "We should catch up sometime."
Lovely sentence. Date to be confirmed, and it has quietly been "sometime" for years.
I know. We're all a bit guilty. I've said it too.
Quite a few years ago, I ran into a girl I'd lived with at uni. We'd been quite friendly back then.
We were out somewhere one night, and we had a chat. At the end I said, as an offhand remark, "Oh, we should catch up sometime."
She said, so honestly and so truthfully, "Yeah, but it'll never happen."
I said, "Yeah, probably."
We had a bit more of a chat, and then we moved on. It was fine but a bit of a realisation that life gets busy and complicated but we do still need to find time to 'play', connect, catch up whatever we want to call it.
Play still works, honestly
Here's what I've noticed. The method hasn't changed. We just forgot we're allowed to use it.
Put grown ups near a shuffleboard table, a trivia sheet or a line dancing floor, and something lovely happens. Everyone becomes seven again, only with better shoes.
There are teams, and there are silly team names. There are quite serious opinions about the rules of shuffleboard, delivered with great confidence.
And you get an opening line for free, because the game has already written one.
Here's what I've seen each time. Everyone's there for the same reason, and they're very open to meeting new people.
Sit people at a table and everyone's chatting and introducing each other. Start a game and people are trying to include whoever's sitting on their own. Somewhere in there, all the shackles of coming along solo and meeting strangers just fall off.
Give it 20 minutes. Sometimes even less. I've had someone say, "I was so nervous, but within the first 10 minutes, I felt fine. It was great. I was talking to somebody and then I was talking to somebody else."
That's the whole thing, right there.
Belonging starts at the fence
I think of the Facebook page and the podcast as the fence around the playground.
Plenty of us stand at the fence for a while first, watching. Seeing who's playing, what the game is, whether the slide looks friendly.
That counts as belonging too, and it makes the first day easier.
The Facebook page is where people share and keep in touch around the events. Sometimes it's where the week's connection happens.
The podcast is there for something to ponder or relate to, a way of knowing we're all in it together.
Everybody has felt something along those lines, maybe to different extremes, particularly after life moves or shifts. Divorce, death, kids moving away, whatever midlife throws at us.
By the time you walk in, a few faces might look familiar. You already know the rules of the playground, or at least where the snacks are.
Four small ways to start
Say hello on Facebook. A comment is a wave over the fence.
Come on your own if that suits. It's how most first timers arrive.
Pick the game. Whatever's on offer is your instant topic of conversation.
Ask the grown up version of the magic question: "Want to be on my team?" Phones down. Conversations up.
What I'm thankful for
I'm thankful for the way the In Good Company community is building, and for how inviting everyone is of newcomers and of each other.
I love the way members greet each other when they've seen each other at different things.
I'm grateful for how people support each other on our page and in our private group.
And I'm really grateful for the honesty and the openness of all our In Good Company members.
Do you want to play?
Life keeps shifting, and play is one of the friendliest ways I know to find your place in it.
If you'd like new blogs and episodes in your inbox, you can get them by email here.
And if you'd like to try the play part, join us for Boots, Beats and Good Company on Sunday 25 October, 3pm at Tonic Bar and Event Space on Margaret Street. Tickets are $20. Come on your own, with a mate or with a group, and we've saved you a seat. See you there!
Have an amazing week!
Jen
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